Slowing down a career to have kids

Slowing down a career to have kids Here are the great myths about pregnancy: Women can put it off until they establish themselves in their career. Women can control the reproductive system. Women can make a grand plan. Forget it. Im pregnant now, and I know. Im pregnant now, and I waited until I had established myself in my career. I climbed up the Fortune 500 ladder. I started two of my own companies. I told myself the whole way up, Thank god I dont have kids, and I worked long, long hours. I didnt get married until after my second company went under, and I could leave Los Angles and live with my husband in New York. I told myself I would get settled in a new job, and then have a baby. And just as I got settled, I got laid off. So after fifteen years of carefully planning my career and my family life I was old enough to be in the high-risk pregnancy category (35), and out of work in a recession. To get back to where I wanted to be in my career before I had a baby, I would have to find a job (average six months) get settled (lets say six months) and get pregnant (at my age average six months). But that would mean having my first child at age 37 if I had average luck with pregnancy and the job hunt. If anything went wrong 38, 39, who knows. Let me tell you about the risks of having a baby at 35: 1 in 169 chance the baby has Downs syndrome; 1 in 200 chance that the test for Downs syndrome kills the baby. And the odds get worse every day I get older. People did not tell me these odds when I started a company at age 32 in LA instead of getting married in NY. People said, You have time, you have time. Now, fearing that I might wait too long to be able to carry a child, for the first time in my life, I risked my career for my family. And wouldnt you know it, blowing away all statistical odds, I got pregnant in a week. I felt lucky, I felt excited, but I also felt scared: I was laid off and pregnant, facing a six-month job hunt, where I would get a job, work three months, and then take maternity leave. Needless to say prospects are looking dim. What I want to tell you is that my grand plan didnt work. I grew up thinking that women had everything: I had access to education, I had access to the pill, I had access to money and jobs. I felt that society easily accepted my choices to be single, to focus on my career. Everyone told me dont worry about kids, youll have time. I thought I was in control, making choices, but there are so many factors that I could never have controlled. I thought I was so smart, so organized and driven for waiting. But Im not sure if waiting got me all that much except a high-risk pregnancy. I will have a pause in my career. I think it might take me a while to get back on the fast track after I have a child. Maybe two. I am not sure why a pause in my career now would have been any different than a pause in my career at any other, earlier point in my career. However I am sure that the pregnancy would have been easier if I had done it earlier. I am not sure what a solution is, but I am sure that the way women today meticulously plan their families and their careers means that women leave themselves open to the inherent unpredictability of volatile markets and high-risk pregnancies. Dont get me wrong. Im really excited to be having a baby. But as the first generation of women who had access to career planning and family planning, Im here to tell you that nothing came out like I planned.